Out of the Blue

Out of the Blue

Two reasons for the choice of this post title 1.) It’s been six months since my last one and 2.) It’s a catchup on my mental health status – anxiety and depression. The “blues”, get it? Whatever.

A little history

Back in 2011 I was assessed by Lincolnshire Mental Health Services prior to a referral to Nottingham GIC (that’s the way they did it in those days). And as part of that assessment I was diagnosed with mid to severe depression. This was my first brush with the medical profession in respect of mental health issues and I wasn’t impressed. It felt like a tick box exercise and certainly made no difference to my mental wellbeing.

Anxiety attacks

Fast-forward to the beginning of this year and it was becoming noticeable with management that something was affecting my performance at work. And although I’ve had ongoing back pain issues at work I knew my mental health issues were having a profound effect on my performance due to a severe lack of ability to concentrate on the tasks at hand.

I didn’t say anything about this to management. Instead, I decided to try to concentrate super-hard and overcome the situation that way.

To cut a long story short, at the end of May, I ended up with three anxiety attacks at work, which resulted in me going home, one via ambulance and A&E.

As a result, work put me in touch with their occupational health service, and after an hour long telephone conversation it was recommended I have a month off work and a further telephone conversation with the OH Doctor, which should happen next week.

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder

Just before all this, it came to my attention that I may have ADHD, which put a whole different slant on all my years of stress, anxiety and depression – in fact, since the age of 7. And I now have a referral for ADHD assessment (12-18 months waiting list).

Whilst seeing my doctor about ADHD she also gave me details so I could self-refer for counselling/therapy sessions, and I’ve gone with Trent PTS who put me on their high intensity CBT programme for anxiety. I’ve had two sessions so far, which have only really been assessments. I should start CBT proper at the next session.

I’ve done my own research looking for advice and support for ADHD and it turns out that my previous jobs in web design and photography are much better suited to someone with ADHD symptoms, so during my time off work I’ve been preparing to resurrect my web and photography work, but more about that later. The idea being with sufficient income from those activities I will be able to leave my current job.

Physical issues

On top of these developments, as I think I’ve mentioned in previous posts, investigations into my worsening back pain concluded that if I continue with my current job my back pain will only get worse. This is why I’ve gone back to working a two day week.

I’ve also been having numerous MRI and Ultrasound scans for prostate and stomach pain issues. Turns out the stomach is OK and now awaiting results of the prostate MRI scan. Personally, I don’t foresee any bad news regarding the prostate, but we’ll see.

A new future?

I hope so. With all my previous years of freelance work I had a steady income, and maybe recent developments is a way of saying I need to get back to doing what I used to do. Here’s hoping…

3 thoughts on “Out of the Blue”

  1. “…high intensity CBT programme for anxiety…”

    Wouldn’t it be better if the programme was more relaxed? Just the title is making me anxious! 😉

    On a less silly note, I hope you’re managing to cope okay and make some progress with what’s going on.

    FWIW, I’m also in the queue for ADHD help, although it seems you may be a little further along in that line. Good luck!

  2. Hi Lynn

    I’m pretty sure the “high intensity” refers to the fact that I will get 12-20 sessions on a bi-weekly basis, not that I’ll be unduly pressured. In 2011, I think I only got 4 sessions. Although, to be fair, it was primarily to be “approved” for entry into the GIC programme.

    I can say as of today progress has been made in that the CBT sessions are in place, I’m on Sertraline (anti-depressant) and I start back to work on Saturday doing 2 days a week. That leaves me Mon-Fri to resurrect my WordPress, web hosting and makeup business activities. Then, eventually, give up my employee work. My previous freelance work also suits my ADHD tendancies, which is all good.

    As for the ADHD, my GP is referring me to a private contractor to the NHS, which is why it’s 12-18 months and not 4 years! Although private ADHD contractors have a bit of a reputation for “rubber stamping” ADHD diagnosis. But apparently there is a brain scan that can be done to conclusively prove if one has ADHD or not, so that’s what I want – we’ll see.

  3. After further investigation I’ve discovered the “ADHD” brain scan is NOT conclusive. Sorry if I raised anyone’s hopes.

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Scroll to Top